I never thought…
Sad to anxious
Anxious to sad
Like watching only one episode of a show or just drinking
A single shot of an espresso
Why can’t the heart break or crack, just once
Leave the rest of the heartbreaking days for reflection WITHOUT feeling the residual attack.
Did I ask for this pain?
At times, I feel like my emotions are the ones insane.
The love I have for you is greater than I ever thought.
The deep intense feelings when I see you, maybe too much, overwrought and fraught
I fell deep and fast
The red palm sized LOVE giant
With past empty chambers
Were quickly filled with vast bloody burning red embers
You picked me up and carried me some way.
Laid me down and walked away.
I thought I knew you.
I thought it was going to be just us
What resulted, cries and scars…
Choking on your shadows and dust
But then another version of you came back so abruptly
Confusion and excitement summoned the frail bleeding giant
Heartbeat pacing fast, leaking fluid, steaming up the embers
Goddamn you are beautiful!
Looking into your eyes, experiencing that infinite wonder, beauty, and potential
Immediately, I knew I was in trouble again, maybe back to the past, lost
And falling fast
Hoping this time I would carry me home
We can walk slowly, caring for our own souls and genome
I don’t care to know…most of the time
The unknown abyss.
The need to connect?
Leave me be?
Consuming and coughing up your dust in my smoky heart?
Crying and weeping, until I am dry?
Still loving you?
Do I want to bleed for another? Don’t you see?
What if my frail, pale giant only wants you and me?