Hollow Me Out
How do I live when you’re not here?
Pain lives me; a wound speaks with my mouth.
And when you return? Only you know
How you hollow me out and dance in the hollow.
The once imminent demise of the old self comes back ever so often when Vigilance penetrates his mind. Perfection is impossible, yet focus and discipline prevail over everything. When life seems bleak for him, Hope invades the tiny crevices he uncomfortably allows to stay open. They bring the Light into the darkness. Cloudy and damp the brain must be. Like a warm and breathless room to manifest and yield mold, mildew, rust, and other forms of detritus that may take up the space.
For this resolve, he decides to stay in the Sun; to let the light in as much as possible, almost to blind him from the other side, the other parts of himself, which need to be unveiled. Later he realizes the balance of the two forces allows for the most freedom, especially creative freedom if the door is left open. His heart bleeding and expanding, finally growing into the right size of a man rather than staying impotent and gaunt mirroring his limiting tiny domain of lack, pride, fear, and distrust. Who knew the paradox of love alongside pain could be so transformative and powerful? He learns, shutting his eyes to the Light does not bring about the same affect as dimming the lamp in the already dark living room. The Rays can still penetrate the skin, gleaning messages and providing dry warmth. It clears the damp spaces, which were drowning and manifesting those hidden weeds. He still can see even more clearly than he ever has before.
What is clarity? What is belief? Attachment to all or nothing is still attachment, is it not? Detachment is the reaction to attachment. Understanding is lost when you question it all. Isn’t that the purpose though, to lose it all, break it down, and clear it away for our Vessels to be hollow?