After leaving my job, I took a month off and told myself the following month will be when the hustling begins, yet it’s the first week in May and I can’t really define what hustling for work even means. It’s hard to look for work in a new field of interest when you don’t have experience or a complete understanding of the industry. Moreover, living in a place like Los Angeles, where you see glamour and beauty everywhere you go, your mind starts telling you how easy and quick it can be to become one of those people. But to be honest, I don’t even know outside of music, film, and television what any of these other people do out here to drive these expensive cars and live in these beautiful homes? I hate to say it but I am jelly.
I grew up in Ohio where it was easy for me to see success as a nice paying job after professional school, but something happened to me…I became a full on addict. Crushing my med school dreams in college was the beginning of this life long journey I call discovering and healing self. The linear and logical route of obtaining employment is boring and soulless. Going after one’s dream is of interest to me now. But I am not sure what dream that is and I really don’t know how to go after it. I have so much experience on what not to do-Can’t I get paid for this? Can I tell you how I fucked up, got sober, and now have some dreams but am too confused and scared to go after them? Some people will listen and others won’t, but I am exhausted, trolling ads for work, trying to lift my spirits by telling myself I am good enough to work in an industry without ANY experience. WTF. Is this crazy?
But the thing is why work for anyone else if you can do it yourself? I will tell you why because you CAN’T do it yourself! Not at first, at least. As much as you need that inner wisdom and voice whispering sweet nothings to your heart and sending positive vibrations for daily action, you must seek support from trusted friends, family, colleagues and the like. You don’t know it all and surely won’t get up that stupid metaphorical ladder (calling all women without tight asses: Please where pants when climbing) without some help. Do it for yourself with the help of a mentor, friend, hell maybe even an ex… whomever! Because daily life on television, in the movies, when comparing yourself to others is difficult and challenging and having someone hold your hand from time to time can go along way. Holding hands at the movies does NOT count!